Tuesday, February 21, 2012


Hello :/

So a lot of stuff's been happening. A couple of weeks ago I had a breakdown. It was so scary- I was hyperventilating, and crying, and running around and I didn't know why. I told my mom everything- i want to switch schools, I feel alone in my own house, and I want to see my old therapist again.

I have an appointment this week, Wednesday I think. I'm nervous of course- this time I am going for a diagnosis. I never got that before. And after going through everything in Health class and such, I have a lot of problems. If everything is text-book accurate, I have bi-polar depression, OCD, ADHD, anorexia, and anxiety. While I know I can't make a diagnosis for myself based off of health class, the supporting evidence is there.

Just a thing about the anorexia- I do eat. I love eating actually. But I don't eat breakfast, or lunch. And I eat a pretty light dinner. It's mostly snacks if I actually "pig out". But they were completely right about one thing- I feel fat. Oh so fat. I get really bloated when I eat, so my stomach balloons out and I nearly look preggers. So that doesn't help with me wanting to eat more. This may be going into TMI area, but I'm nearly 16 and haven't even gotten any signs pointing to the fact that I might be close to have my period. Absolutely nothing.

My parents took away my phone, and I can't use the computer after 8, which adds to my feeling alone. Especially seeing as it's vacation, I don't see my friends everyday like I would at school. So basically, I have no human contact or support system.